Gegroet Grijze Jager fans! Speciaal voor ons thema deze maand heeft Tessa, een Amerikaanse fan, een fanfictie voor jullie geschreven. Deel 1 hebben we hieronder voor jullie gepost! 

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Let op: deze fanfictie is geschreven in het Engels en is niet geschikt voor fans onder de 12 jaar, in verband met heftige thema’s. 


It had been an easy pregnancy, if such a thing actually exists. Alyss had worked up until the final month, though she had stopped going on far away diplomatic missions early on.  That had been Will and Pauline’s doing. Will had been panicking since the day she told him she was expecting. He begged her to stop traveling for work, even offering to ask Crowley to keep him solely local assignments through out the pregnancy for the sake of fairness. Alyss had told him that he was being over protective, of course she was going to accept whatever missions she was offered for as long as she was able to fulfill them. This had driven Will to disclose his concerns to Pauline. He didn’t do it  because Pauline was head courier, but because both he and Alyss viewed her as a maternal figure. As it turned out Pauline agreed with Will. 

“We cannot allow a courier to go of to other countries while pregnant Alyss.” She had told her. 

“In no way does being pregnant effect my diplomatic capabilities.” Alyss replied.

“What if you were hurt? Or went into an early labor? What if there were a repeat of what happened at Castle Macindaw? We can’t risk it. It’s policy, and it’s not one I am willing to break.”

So Alyss worked in the offices at Castle Redmont, occasionally going to the nearby fiefs. Will unfortunately was not able to stay as local as his wife. 

“You’ll want to use your paternity leave once the baby comes Will, trust me.” Crowley told him. 

Will hated leaving his wife and unborn child, but the missions he was assigned to never lasted more than a couple weeks. Will wasn’t sure if he had Crowley or simple serendipity to thank, but he was grateful none the less. 

Alyss went into labor just before dawn on April 27th. She had barely realized what was happening when Will’s eyes flew one and he sat up in their bed, her minor movements triggering some protective instinct that woke him. 

“What’s wrong? Are you ok? Is it the baby?” 

“Will, slow down. Both of us are fine, but I think it’s time. “

“Ok, right, ok. This is fine. You are fine. The baby is fine. We are fine. We can do this.” Will said to himself, repeating it like a mantra as he got up from bed and got dressed in a hurry. His hands were shaking so badly that he couldn’t do the buttons up on his shirt. After a couple attempts he abandoned the endeavor all together, leaving the shirt open. Alyss smiled at her husband. 

“Come here Will.” He rushed over to her, hands hovering uselessly in case she needed something, anything, from him. 

“As much as I am enjoying the view,” She said as she started to do up the buttons, “I don’t think you should be running off to Castle Redmont to fetch the physician with your shirt flapping in the wind.” She rested her hand over his heart and felt it racing under his shirt. 

“I’d go fully naked if it meant getting you help.” 

She laughed, “Now that is something I’d like to see. And I sure I’m not the only one.” She muttered the second half, but Will still heard it. 

“I doubt that” Will snorted self deprecatingly. Alyss rolled her eyes. Will’s body was a far cry from the skinny 15 year old he used to be and it seemed as though all of the women in Redmont had taken notice. It spoke volumes to Will’s humility and devotion to Alyss that he had yet to notice all of the stares and flirtatious smiles and winks that have been directed towards him (and that have increased tenfold since Alyss’ baby bump had started showing). 

“Go get the doctor and Pauline, the baby and I will be fine.” 

“I will be back as quick as I can.” Will kissed his wife’s forehead then ran out the door, grabbing his cloak as he left. 

Will sat outside with Halt and Ebony while Pauline and the physician helped Alyss inside. It took hours and Will was shaking the entire time, Halt’s attempts to calm him down proving to be fruitless. Eventually there was a sharp cry. Will leaped to his feet and was at the cabin door just as Pauline openned it. 

“It’s a girl Will!” Pauline beamed at Will, her excitement making her cheeks rosy. 

Will rushed to the bedroom, squeezing Pauline’s shoulder as he passed. Behind him, he could hear Pauline tell Halt the news. Will froze in his room’s doorway. His bed held his entire world. His stunning wife, clearly exhausted from the birth, blonde hair messy and sticking to her face with sweat, but eyes and smile shining, was cradling the most perfect baby Will had ever seen. The sight was almost too much for him, and he had to lean against the wall to stay up right. 

“Come meet your daughter Will.” Alyss said softly. Will crossed the room then carefully inched onto the bed until he was next to Alyss, resting his back against the headboard. 

“She’s perfect,” Alyss whispered.

“Like mother like daughter.” Will teased, but his voice broke as he said “daughter”.  

“I can’t believe I’m a dad Alyss. I have a daughter. What do I know about raising a little girl?” Will rubbed his hands over his face. Alyss wanted to grab his hands but her arms were holding their daughter so instead she kicked his leg lightly. 

“Hey, you’re not alone in this. We have each other. You are never going to have to do this alone, okay? I can handle the dresses and the crushes and the monthlies, and you can handle all of the worrying and over protecting and making dad jokes.” Alyss grinned at her husband and he let out a short laugh. That was probably a pretty accurate picture of their future. 

“We’re us Will,” She continued, “we can do anything if we are working together.”

Tears were threatening to spill from Will’s eyes. The love he was feeling for his little family felt overwhelming. 

“I don’t know what I have done to have such a perfect wife and daughter, but I promise I will spend the rest of my days trying to be a man deserving of the life I have.” 

Alyss had just fallen asleep when the doctor came back in. Will was holding his daughter, pacing the room and rocking her in his arms. He had undone the top half of his shirt buttons so that the baby’s smooth cheek was resting on his skin. Before she fell asleep, Alyss had told him that it was important for the baby’s skin to touch his. “It will help you bond with her.” She had said. 

“You’re a natural.” The doctor said. Will turned to look at the man and grinned. 

“To be honest, I am terrified. I keep thinking “don’t you dare drop her”. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to her being so small.”

“She’ll grow. And you will look back someday and wish you could turn the clock back so you could do it all over again.”

“You sound as if you are speaking from experience, do you have children?” 

“Yes, four of them. The youngest just turn twelve and I still find myself yearning to hold them like that, just one more time. ”

“Any words of wisdom for a rookie?”

The doctor smiled. “All children truly need are love and protection. If you give them that, everything else will fall into place.”

They talked for a bit longer, but as the sun began to sink low in the sky the doctor excused himself.  “I really should be on my way.”

“Is there anything I should look out for? Any complications?” Will asked nervously. He had felt calm while the physician was just across the hall from Alyss and his daughter, but the thought of him leaving and taking his medical knowledge and experience with him stirred up Will’s anxiety once again. Pauline and Halt had left an hour ago to get some rest, so he would be alone with his wife and child for the first time all day. 

“She bleed a bit, but that’s not unusual in childbirth. If she starts to bleed heavily, send for me. But I wouldn’t be too concerned. This was her first child and she’s a young, healthy woman.”

Will thanked the doctor and saw him out, then he joined him little family who were asleep in his bed. 

Will didn’t know what woke him up. The baby wasn’t crying. Alyss was still besides him. He almost went back to sleep, but he had been trained to trust his instincts, so he sat up and checked on their daughter who was laying in her cot beside him. She was sound asleep, breathing softy. Satisfied that she was safe, he looked over at Alyss. The moonlight streaming through their window cast a white light on the room, causing her skin to look fair and angelic. He stood from the bed to check the front door. Neither Ebony nor Tug had made any noise, but Will still felt as though something was wrong. He went in to the main living space of the cabin, shutting the bedroom door behind him, careful not to let it bang closed. He lit a small oil lamp that was on the kitchen table. The light wasn’t much, but it illuminated a small area around him. When he turned to the front door, a spot of red on the edge of his sleep pants caught his attention. Will touched it. Blood. He patted his leg looking for a wound but couldn’t find one. Then a chill went through him. 

Alyss. The blood has to be Alyss’. 

Will spun around and rushed back to his bedroom, holding the lamp in one hand and flinging the door open with the other. The door hit the wall with the force and the noise startled the baby. She woke and began to cry. Will didn’t go over to comfort her, instead he went over to Alyss. With the clearer light of the lamp, he could see that the paleness he chalked up to being a trick of the moonlight had actually gotten worse. He shook her shoulder. 

“Alyss! Alyss wake up love. Wake up!” She moaned but didn’t open her eyes. Will put two of his fingers against her neck and felt her heart beating rapidly. He pulled back the sheets and choked on a surprised cry. His wife was laying in a pool of blood. He stared for a moment, shock and fear causing his mind to go blank and his body freeze. Then the irony smell of blood crashed over him, forcing him back in action. 

“Hold on love, I am going to get help. Everything is going to be okay. Please just hold on.” 

Will ran out of his cabin like a bat out of hell. He didn’t even take his boots or his cloak. He jumped on Tug and galloped bareback over to Castle Redmont. He didn’t even dismount, he just rode through the courtyard and started to yell for the doctor. A pair of guards came over. 

“Ranger Treaty, what is the emergency?” The senior guard asked. 

“Have the doctor come to my cabin as fast as possible. Tell him my wife is bleeding. Tell him it is a matter of life or death.” Then he took off, riding back to his home. Back to his family. 

What happened next was a blur around Will. He held Alyss until the doctor and a midwife arrived. They tried to remove him from the room but he refused. He yelled that the only way he would leave his wife is if someone killed him. So he stayed, pushed uselessly into a corner of the room, hands gripping the sides of his head, silent tears rolling down his cheeks. 

The doctor and nurse tried to help her, but by the time the had gotten to her, she had lost too much blood. Will watched the physician put his fingers to her throat. He face said it all. He turned to the nurse and gave the slightest, almost imperceptible shake of his head. But Will saw it. 

“NO!” It came out as a battle cry as he rush towards his wife, crashing to his knees at the side of the bed. The once white sheets of their bed were now soaked with blood and he felt it seeping through his nightshirt when he leaned on the bed to clutch her hands with his. 

“Don’t leave me Alyss. Please don’t leave me. I can’t do this without you. I can’t. Don’t leave me love. I promise I will be the perfect husband if you stay with me. You will want for nothing my darling just stay with me. I can’t lose you.” His voice cracked and every inch of his body was shaking. Massive sobs raked his body and his breaths came quick and sharp as panic tightened his chest. The doctor placed a gentle hand on Will’s shoulder. 

“I am sorry Will. She’s gone.” 

There was a moment of deafening silence. 

Then Will screamed.

Fanfictie – Please Don’t Leave Me (1/2)